A contemplation of reputation, identity, ones personal name and the artist’s name is a quandary.
The idea of non-identification can loosen that which binds.
Held to name and character, artists and musicians often get stuck, the flowing path filled with a residue of concepts and an established constructs of art forms and self.
Worry brings to me this comment quoted:
“I always do what I do this way. It is my name, my brand, my establishment. When my way Is met with great resistance, then what am I to do. Am I to push through this mental feeling, or is that like the bull pushing through the crowd. Am I wrong in my striving, is my effort unpeacful and graceless. Am I to shape this feeling into something different. Does the mind trick me into believing so?”
I do not have a certain answer for this worry…
So I carry on, but not without awarness and caution of real dangers. The mind of ones activity, grabbing and holding all the right material of mind and matter for the task at hand. All that is needed from the Tao’s tool shelf, where kept are the 10,000 things. To Make oneself. To wield and lead the 10000 things, to make myself ready for the personal journey and daily spiritual battle, to ready for the demands of social performance, I practice.
Holding what I want, what I was given, what I need and what is sacred, asking what holds me to this standard. Is it reasonable, is it kind, is it compassionate, is it logical?
“The artist must do what they can in the time that they have.” This phrase runs through my head and often moves me into action.
Uncertain of my want for myself and what is wanted of me, the striving effort is orienting. In striving there is consistency.
The questions arise, is my striving effort against other? Am I hurting other with that which I think of as MY effort. Am I oppressed, am I oppressive.
Striving, Oppression and Mental Health are all thematic to E. Incoherent’s Music
Especially among family, friends, and community leadership, oppression and abuse can be hard to acknowledge clearly.
When induvidual efforts are reduced, when the induvidual is convinced that thier reason and rhyme are without inherent quality then the individuals work is reduced and the induvidual is misinterpreted.
What is authentically oneself is the logic and reason of their karmic experience. What is reduced when one is convinced otherwise is all they have to give to other people.
The demand upon them to be some other quality other then thier own experience and trajectory takes from their contribution to society, healing and truth.
The light of authenticity and reflection, slows the onslaught of this confusion, like medicine for restlessness.
The undeniable nature of truthful existence illuminates and redefines the induvidual within the mass of suffering.
The induvidual experience shining through masses of darkness and confusion.
One can not make clear what is not clear, the induvidual arrives at understanding through thier own experience at thier own pace.
One can be directed or made to do something, but that does not mean that they comprehend the meaning.
In this I am often confused by what I’m directed or prompted to do, and frustration arises because I do not understand the logic but am forced to act in accordance with it.
To believe otherwise is delusional, belief seems to require processing of some kind. Belief has to be logically reasoned, and thought about, so all can continue without great disturances.
Is there somthing to be said about the unconcious state, where one does without great resistance? A being of logic by demand. There action of some force of persuasion or logic.
Some let go into this way. It is appealing and some sort of submission as well. The aspect of this submission as some kind of loss is what Prideful Conciousness seems to confront.
I confront what seems to persuade me to act irrationally or emotionally agressive, often by deflecting its forcefullness.
The want to be true to ones experince and to have favorable and fortuitous experiences is basic to human beings. The question is, does this require effort or submission. Does one ultimately submit to what they are, or make an edless effort for what they want.
If ones effort leads to prideful confrontation and violence occurs, then ones entire life and effort could be diverted.
Pride in relation to ones effort requires a balance of how and when to submit to somthing that is not your effort.
Submission of any kind can make the induvidual feel diminished and misunderstood.
Even a good interpretation in the course of some others momentum can leave the individual misunderstood and personally confused. The work of interpreting an induvidal is often hurried and chaotic when a part of somthing much larger. That is why the artist must do what they can in the time they have, with effort and through striving, they bring about great meaning once thier work is brought into a state of composition and is understood.
Personal work and practice, practice and personal work.
Practice is of detaching from every feeling that makes us strong and proud as what is good. Not all that makes people feel strong and pround is good. Practice is calming the tension of mind. Practice is maintaining a joyful mind. Practice is meeting every moment.
Practice is accepting measures of rank and accomplishment without agression and aversion. Practice is peacefully challenging to rank and order. Practice is meritable. Practice is appreciative of nonjudgement. Practice is of patience and observation.
Death is to become us all. As is quoted, the artist must do what they can in the time that they have, and yet the attachment to ones identity as the artist, to ones name, to accomplishment, to the urgent plan, to the relentless highways of passion, drama and desperation, makes blind the artist to the reason and purpose for their art and reputation.
The effort to maintain a reputation as an artist is meaningful if not necessary for many induviduals, letting go of ones beliefs about themselves and thier reputation may be logics demand. This demand may cause loss and may seem like a death, but new growth for the person may occur.
My identity, my art, my success is important to me, but only because it’s truly important to other people.
A fierce compassion backed by those whose importance shines through thier effort, it is the value that others bring to ones art that allows the individuals effort to benefit the masses.
My name, my identity, my preferences, my craft, my body is not mine alone. The truth of experience seemingly brings a conformity to the body that belongs to all beings, to my karmic experience and to everything.
And yet it is I who must polish my bowl when it is tarnished.
I_Nonself Music Archive 